My husband called Saturday “beat up on yourself day.” Because that’s what I did all day. All day.
I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe it. Oh my gosh, what a horrible mother. What an awful parent. Ugh. I have to make changes. I have to slow down. How could I do that?
And on. And on. And on.
I did not let up on myself.
My daughter, Emma missed her one of her best friend’s birthday party. Like missed it. Like I forgot all about it.
The party for sweet little Penelope was Friday afternoon and I knew many of Emma’s other friends would be there, too. She had been looking forward to it for a few weeks.
And then life got in the way.
I totally forgot about it. I know. Awful.
It’s not even like Friday night came along and I remembered it. It wasn’t until Saturday morning when I was on Facebook and saw the pictures. My heart broke. I panicked. I couldn’t tell Emma. And I would tell my friend, Jenny that Emma didn’t feel well.
I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
I sent a text (I know, wimpy) to my friend, Jenny. This is what I wrote, “OMG. Talk about a total MOM FAIL. I forgot all about the birthday party. I don’t even want to tell Emma. I’m sorry. I have Penelope’s gift. What a loser mother.”
While I waited for the response, I told Emma. She was absolutely fine. She said, “It’s okay mommy.” I couldn’t believe it. What a mature response from a five-year-old. She was really fine with it. I immediately felt better.
Then the DING from my phone. A response.
And, I have to say – the response was basically amazing, “Oh no worries!! I understand the struggle is real lol!”
And it is. Jenny knows. Most moms know. Yet, we beat ourselves up. Why do we do that? To be honest, I had part two of a ROOT CANAL on Friday. Seriously. So, it’s not like I was sitting around watching soap operas all day. Although, I may have watched General Hospital at some point. 🙂
Sometimes it feels like there is just not enough time in the day. I like to call myself a stay-at-home-mom, but I’m not. I work an awful lot. I’m a work-at-home-mom. It’s a thing, you know. They call us WAHMs. It’s the perfect balance for me. Or at least I thought it was.
It’s not all that often that I miss something and normally it’s not that big of a deal. But, the one thing I don’t want to ever do is disappointment my kids.
I think I made up for it today – with Penelope over all day long for a play date. 🙂
I’m still a little mad at myself, but I’ll be okay.
I will let it serve as a reminder to slow down a bit. And I will. For a while anyway. And that’s okay. It’s okay to need a gentle reminder. A little nudging.
We aren’t perfect. None of us. And guess what – that is okay, too.
Moms deserve a bit of a break. We juggle everyday. Work, parenting, sleepless nights and all that guilt. We’re bound to drop a ball every now and then.
I told Emma that – I told her that it’s okay to forget about things, or make mistakes, or mess up. It’s okay because we are all human and – as Jenny said, the struggle is real. Every day. 🙂